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Facebook Me! 10 Things You Don’t Know about Teens and Social Networking

Facebook Me!
10 Things You Don’t Know about Teens and Social Networking
6 MILLION teenage girls are on Facebook. Get ready for a shockingly real look into our lives as we navigate our adolescence online…where status is more than an update. It’s 10pm. Do you know where your daughter is? -from the New York International Fringe Festival brochure listing for “Facebook Me!”, which premiered today in NY.

By Sarah B. Weir

Its 10 pm, do you know where your children are? Whether at home or out, odds are they are online and social networking. Even if parents do see what their kids post, they might not understand how living life online actually feels. Facebook Me, an original play written and performed by teens at the upcoming New York International Fringe Festival is a revealing exploration of what’s going on behind millions of young people’s computer screens.

I recently sat down with the cast (whose names have been changed below) and asked them to share about their experiences with social networking. I also spoke with a professor specializing in the psychology of technology, who offers some timely advice for parents. What the kids had to say:

“There’s more ‘life’ happening online than offline. If you are not online, you are completely out of the loop–you don’t have a life, you don’t really exist.”
–Hannah, 13 years old

“I’m online even during class. I’m supposed to be taking notes but instead I’m commenting on stuff and uploading pictures.”
–Emma, 14 years old

“I feel safer online than I do offline. So I do things online that I wouldn’t do in real life.”
–Sadie, 14 years old

“I’ve become very good at taking pictures of myself. I know what angle is best, I know how to part my lips…you know. It’s like the number one thing on my mind is ‘I need to get home right now and take a new profile picture.’ All because I want someone to comment on how I look.”
–Katie, 15 years old

“Social networking affects all the things you do in real life now. Like, if you go to a party, one of the most important aspects of going to the party is to document yourself for online posts. You have to prove you were looking good, you were having fun, and that you were actually there! It’s not about the party anymore but about the pictures of the party.”
–Caroline, 14 years old

“I feel sad, depressed, jealous, or whatever when I don’t get a lot of “Likes” on my photo or when someone else gets way more Likes than me. Honestly, I’m not sure that parents realize how drastically it affects our self-image and confidence. If I see a picture of a really pretty girl, it’s like ‘Goodbye self-esteem.’ It forces me to compete and do stuff that I don’t want to do, so my confidence will get a boost.”
–Samantha, 14 years old

“Sometimes I feel like I’m losing control. I want my parents to tell me to get off the computer. Actually, they would need to literally take the computer away because I can’t stop myself.”
–Nina, 15 years old

“My friendships are really affected by social networking. You have to constantly validate your friends online. And everyone’s like ‘Where were you?’ ‘What have you been doing?’ ‘Why haven’t you commented on my picture yet?’ So you have to be online all the time, just to keep track, so you don’t upset anyone.”
–Jasmine, 13 years old

“There is so much pressure to look happy all the time—you can never just be yourself– because everybody is always taking pictures and posting them.”
–Nikki, 13 years old

“I really want my mom to be proud of me. Obviously, I want her to think I’m writing my essay or doing things I should be doing instead of being on Facebook. But I also want to be online. So I lie or accuse her of not trusting me. It’s awful, but I’ve become really comfortable with lying.”
–Maya, 14 years old

Some new research has shown that social networking can also have positive effects on teens such as helping introverted adolescents forge relationships or providing a venue for activism and political engagement. But, given the lure of spending too much time plugged in and the self-esteem issues related to the constant scrutiny of one’s online persona, how can parents help their kids have a healthy and productive relationship with technology?

View “10 Things You Don’t Know about Teens and Social Networking” at source.